Humor Articles

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Cat Scan and Lab Test

A man runs into the vet’s office carrying his dog, screaming for help. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has him put his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines the still, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that his dog, regrettably, is dead.

The man, clearly agitated and not willing to accept this, demands a second opinion. The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and puts the cat down next to the dog’s body. The cat sniffs the body, walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog’s body and finally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too.”

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead. The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body, walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks. The vet looks at the man and says, “I’m sorry, but the lab thinks your dog is dead too.”

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet and asks how much he owes. The vet answers, “$650.” “$650 to tell me my dog is dead?” exclaimed the man…. “Well,” the vet replies, “I would only have charged you $50 for my initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scan and lab tests.”

(Thanks to petwalk.com for helping me to recall the details of this joke.)

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Government finance made scary! Confused by our current economic mess? Check out ”Quantitative Easing Explained” on the YouTube.  (Watch the video, and you’ll understand.)  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTUY16CkS-k. Warning: Some Strong Language in this video.)

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Feeding The Beast: 24/7 “news” cycle satire clip from Funny or Die. http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/bb8f71a7a2/breaking-news-some-bullshit-happening-somewhere?rel=by_user Warning: Some Strong Language in this video.) 

 
Mad Magazine’s Al Jaffee: Original Art And Life From ‘Al Jaffee’s Mad Life’ (PHOTOS) (Huffington Post, October 6, 2010): 89-year-old Al Jaffee and I have been friends for years — we met in the late 70s when we were both renting condos in what had been a net drying shed on the beach in Provincetown. I remember when I first fell under his ridiculous spell. We were walking on the beach at low tide, picking our way through what appeared to have been a mass suicide of jelly fish. “With all these jelly fish around,” said Al, “there ought to be some peanut butter somewhere.” I love a goof ball.
 
World’s Scariest Bridges (TravelAndLeisure.com): RIDDLE – When is a bridge not a bridge? ANSWER – When it’s too scary to cross! I don’t know if HUMOR is the right ccategory for this, but I finally concluded that this bridge is so gut-wrenchingly frightening that it was funny! Click on the link, watch the video, and then check out the other gulp-inducing bridges included in the article.
 
A Jack Daniels Fishing Story : I went fishing this morning but after a short time I ran out of worms. Then I saw a cottonmouth with a frog in his mouth. Frogs are good bass bait.

Knowing the snake couldn’t bite me with the frog in his mouth I grabbed him right behind the head, took the frog, and put it in my bait bucket.

Now the dilemma was how to release the snake without getting bit. So, I grabbed my bottle of Jack Daniels and poured a little whiskey in its mouth. His eyes rolled back, he went limp. I released him into the lake without incident and carried on fishing using the frog.

A little later, I felt a nudge on my foot… There was that same snake with two frogs in his mouth. Life is good in the South.

Red_Dot_therapy: PowerPoint file (!!NO WEAK HEARTS! YOU’VE BEEN WARNED!!)

Most Beautiful Girl in the Lab (Parody of “Most Beautiful Girl in the Room” by Flight of the Conchords) YouTube Video: “A link to a YouTube video made by a group of students at UCSF. It reminds me a lot of my fun time at UCSF. Very very funny. Have a good laugh!” – Ashley

Are you my mommy? (Today Show, MSNBC): Adoptive parents come in all types.. 

Unlikely friends (MSNBC.com): And the lion will lie down with the lamb … and the cat with the dog, and the elephant … with … the … sheep? Okay… This is weird, but cute.

Rachel Maddow, Lesbian Vampire (Video) MSNBC.com

 Dancing Merengue Dog (Today Show,MSNBC.com)

Cats That Look Like Hitler: (Also see the FAQ)  “Does your cat look like Adolf Hitler? Do you wake up in a cold sweat every night wondering if he’s going to up and invade Poland? Does he keep putting his right paw in the air while making a noise that sounds suspiciously like “Sieg Miaow”? If so, this is the website for you.”

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