HUMOR: SOCIAL, POLITICAL, PHILOSOPHICAL

“You’re probably asking why it took six days to create the earth, and was it absolutely necessary to rest on the seventh. And I’m sure you think Heaven would be a little more effective, if they merged some of the various religions.”  ~ Jamie Dimon, chief executive of J.P. Morgan Chase, delivering a eulogy (2015-6-21) for Jimmy Lee, famed J.P. Morgan deal maker. (NY Times Quotation of the Day)

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Reader comments from the article, “Why People Are Putting Butter In Their Coffee” (The Huffington Post  | By Kate Bratskeir (Posted: 09/22/2014 9:28 am EDT Updated: 09/22/2014 9:59 am EDT)

  • Carol Kasun Dixson: I love coffee AND butter. This has some definite possibilities. Hmmmmmm. I am also very fond of bacon….. · September 22 at 6:05pm
    • Irene Fisher: Personally, I like my bacon with chocolate… September 22 at 9:46pm
    • Deb Mac · Irene Fisher, Mmmm chocolate buttered bacon coffee. September 22 at 10:28pm
    • Francisco Perez: Deb Mac, OMG! September 22 at 11:00pm

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“We don`t want any quid pro quos. But anxious quid are happening here and  quos are happening here and as long as they show up at the same dinners and go to work at the same offices, they can kind of merrily clink glasses and that is the world of big-time campaigns.” ~ Chris Hayes, “All In with Chris Hayes”, January 24, 2014 (From show transcript: http://www.nbcnews.com/id/54192344/ns/msnbc-all_in_with_chris_hayes/)

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“Youth is wealth.” ~ Dr. Yuxiang Sun (MD, PhD), Sept. 19, 2013

The human race advances one funeral at a time.” ~ Jack McDevitt, @ “100 Year Star Ship” Symposium (Sept. 20, 2013) (www.100YSS.org)

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LOLGOP LOLGOP@LOLGOP 6h : Is it bigger than Watergate, Iran-Contra or Abu Ghraib? Republicans only have Republican scandals to use as reference points.

Tegan Mathis Tegan Mathis@TeganMathis 7h : History suggests that the best strategy for reducing the deficit is voting Republicans out of office. @Lawrence

The GOP Loves America

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“I recently heard [Newt Gingrich] say that Obama is a ‘Robin Hood socialist’. How far off the path of decency do you have to wander to read the Robin Hood legend and identify with the Sheriff?”  Dylan Brody, from “Chronological Disorder” [Played on KPFT  (10:30PM, June 7, 2012) PLAY HERE at about the  12:50 mark]

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“You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there is a ‘Luxury Tax’, ‘Community Chest’ and the Banker can still get thrown in jail.” ~ Jeb Brovsky ‏(@JebBrovsky), September 3, 2012

“Google Before You Tweet” Is The New “Think Before You Speak” [PIC]Jonathan (Jon) Parker, via Joe Newton [Best attribution I can find – Mike].

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“We must acknowledge, once and for all, that the purpose of diplomacy is to prolong a crisis.” ~ Mr. Spock (Character), comment on diplomacy in the Star Trek episode “The Mark of Gideon” (Originally aired January 17, 1969)

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“”Diplomacy is the art of saying ‘Nice doggy, nice doggy’ until you can find a stick.” ~ attributed to Former Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage

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          After being married for 50 years, I took a careful look at my wife one day and said, “Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junk car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 23-year-old girl.   Now … I have a $1,500,000.00 home, a $70,000.00 car, a nice big bed and a large screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 74-year-old woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”
My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.
Aren’t older women great? They really know how to solve an old guy’s problems.
~ Unknown

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“I reject your reality and substitute my own.” ~ Adam Savage, Co-host of Mythbusters, expressing his disappointment when a result did not turn out as he predicted.

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“I support gay marriage. I believe they have a right to be as miserable as the rest of us.” ~ Richard S. “Kinky” Friedman (born November 1, 1944[1])  (Musician, one-time independent candidate for governor of Texas),

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“The two most common elements in the universe are Hydrogen and stupidity.” – Harlan Ellison, science fiction author & screenwriter (1934 – )

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“Ignorance is a correctable condition. Stupid is forever” – Unknown

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“Groucho Marx is the only actor I ever allowed to ad-lib in a show I wrote. That was because I couldn’t stop him.” ~ George S. Kaufman on the liner notes of An Evening With Groucho (1972) [From Wikiquotes]

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An Interesting Theory On How Newly Discovered Places Get Their Names (From the novel “Roma Eterna”, by Robert Silverberg (2003) in Chapter “The Second Wave, A.U.C. 1861″)

“…So here we are in Yucatan. A strange sort of name for a place, that is! What do you think it means, Titus?”

“‘I don’t understand you.’”

“Pardon me? I thought I was speaking very clearly, Titus. I said, ‘What do you think it means?’ I was referring to Yucatan.”

Drusus chuckled. “I heard you. And I answered you. You asked a question, and Haraldus or one of his friends asked the natives the name of their kingdom, they answered “Yucatan’, which I’m almost certain is not the name of the place at all, but merely means …”

“Yes,”, said Marcus Junianus, “I think I grasp the point.”

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